There is a moment

before you wake up. It's still. There is sound but no movement. How long I have been sleeping.  A year exactly. I fell into some sick dream and coughed up soul, caught the cold of loneliness when you are not alone, got caught up in the madness of the mundane world despite any progress I'd previously made.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

I fell into a dream.
It wasn't a pretty one.
I fell out of me.
I fell out of being at home in this body.
I fell into the darkness.
I fell into a deep scream and was silenced for
being something that just didn't quite fit in this world.

I'm not awake yet. But I've been listening to the sounds outside. I've been hearing sounds of life. Rain on the window. Sand hill crane. Life buzzing by.

I'm not awake yet, but I'm thinking of opening my eyes....